31 Nights of Halloween Horror: Part 10 in a 31 part series.
A different horror film review, every night for the month of October. Tonight we’re talking about:
Evilspeak | Dir. Eric Weston | 1981/USA | 97 mins.
What do you get when you cross Clint Howard, a Commodore 64 and Satan?
Take those 3 things and you get tonight’s mess of a movie. Let’s all Hail Satan as we talk about Evilspeak.
Did you ever notice computers in the 80s were so much better then computers today? It seemed you could type anything into MS DOS and it would give you an answer. I can barely run two programs at the same time and Clint Howard has his 1980s computer telling him what ingredients he needs to summon the devil.
I am pretty sure there must have been pages missing in the script when they filmed this movie. As stuff just seems to happen with not much explanation behind it, but I will try to make sense of it all for you. Except for the pigs. I have no explanation for them.
Ron got the brains, Clint got the good looks.
The awesome Clint Howard plays cadet Stanley Coopersmith or as his nemesis like to call him Cooperdick. He has no family, his only friend is Dwayne from What’s Happening, all the other cadets hate him and even the faculty is annoyed by him. What is a boy to do? Basically he is the exact opposite of his character Eaglebauer from ‘Rock N Roll High School’ which he starred in prior to his role here.
But I digress, I am getting ahead of myself.
The film opens in Spain during the Dark Ages where Richard Moll plays heretic Esteban who is cast out with his followers for blasphemy and worshipping the devil. A chick loses her head and we flash forward to present day where our boy Clint sucks at soccer and is constantly bullied by his teammates who spend the entire movie making his life a living hell. So one day Cooperdick gets the punishment of cleaning out the basement of the church. There he finds a hole in the wall that leads to a hidden room that was once used by Father Esteban. This is where one of those script pages went missing because we kind of have to assume this since it’s never really explained.
Amongst a bunch of old artifacts and books Cooperdick zeros in on this one book that has a jeweled pentagram on the cover. It is all in Latin but he just types the pages into his super 1980s computer and they translate everything into english for him where he learns that the book features incantations for devil worship and how to resurrect Esteban.
Something went missing.
During one of his apparently many visits to the head master’s office he accidentally leaves the book on the secretary’s desk. Unlike Cooperdick, the secretary is more interested with the jewels on the book’s cover instead of what is inside. She takes the book home to try and pry off the jewels but the book sends demonic boars after her and they attack her while she is taking a shower. Why? I don’t know, must be one of those missing script pages.
So that book is gone, but apparently it doesn’t matter because Cooperdick I guess decides he wants to summon Satan or Esteban or whoever to get revenge on everyone who bullies him, I think. Honestly I don’t know how he comes to this decision, but we won’t fault him for it because bullies suck. So he just types in what he needs for the ritual and the computer tells him. My computer can barely spell check, but this one tells you how to be a devil worshipper and call on Satan .
Anyway a couple more missing script pages and Cooperdick finally summons whatever he was trying to get to do his bidding and it more or less possess him as he now floats through the air wielding a big sword of justice upon all his wrong doers and dispatching them in gory ways. Everyone dies in the end, except Dwayne from What’s Happening I think he lives, and poor Clint Howard ends up in an insane asylum until the end of his days or so the caption at the end of the movie tells us.
Please fill in the blanks.
The movie plays too much on Clint being bullied and doesn’t really get down to business until later in the film. Like I said there are many blanks in the story where you have to come up with your own interpretation of why things happen. At no point does Clint seem to debate with himself if raising the devil is a good idea; he just reads the book, becomes obsessed with it and possessed by it, all by just typing it into the computer.
You have to give props to the movie though for trying to come up with something new during the slasher 80s and use modern technology to wield an old fashioned evil. The ending has some of the red stuff flowing, but it takes awhile to get there and the possessed computer graphics are very dated and somewhat hokey at this point in time. Still, you got to love Clint Howard and I wouldn’t say this movie is a total bomb, but it does leave a lot to be desired as far as a sensible story goes.