Home 31 Nights of Halloween Horror Part 15: Cockneys vs. Zombies
31 Nights of Halloween Horror Part 15: Cockneys vs. Zombies
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31 Nights of Halloween Horror Part 15: Cockneys vs. Zombies

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31 Nights of Halloween Horror: Part 15 in a 31 part series. Join me for 31 nights of horror reviews in the month of October. Every night we’ll take a look at a different horror film, some old and some new. Tonight we’re talking about:

Cockneys vs. Zombies

88 mins.

Dir. Matthias Hoene

2012 – UK

Cockneys_vs_zombies_poster

Oi mate, if Pittsburgh is known as the zombie capital of the world, then London is quickly becoming the zombie comedy club of said world. Cockneys vs. Zombies is another full fledged zombie comedy based in the East End of London. In the vein of Shaun of the Dead, though not as innovative. Not that Shaun was a first, but it definitely was a trend setter.

The title pretty much sums up the entire plot of the movie, but for those of you who want to know more of the story here you go. Movie opens at a construction site in the East End of London, apparently Cockney country. Two construction workers uncover a sealed crypt back in the day of Charles II. They go inside and immediately get graphically attacked by zombies. Ok so we got the why did the zombies come back out of the way, well not really, it is never explained why they are here, they just are. Unlike The Walking Dead, these people know what zombies are and how to kill them. So let’s move on to meet our Cockney characters.

Deadbeat brothers Terry and Andy, decide to rob a bank to keep their Granddad, played hilariously by Alan Ford, who is in a old folks home that is set to be demolished by said construction company in the East End instead of being relocated up north. So they grab some mates and attempt said robbery and by the time they exit the bank the zombie apocalypse is already in full swing.  So as you can imagine the rest of the movie is filled with the group making their way across the East End to rescue Granddad and the rest of the old timing buddies.

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And that me mates is pretty much Cockneys vs. Zombies. There is nothing new to add to the ol’ zombie mythos here. This is one is plain and simple. That is not to say it is bad, if you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead or Attack the Block you will no doubt enjoy this one as well. It does have some pretty humorous scenes in it and one of the best zombie chase scenes in a film. There is some gore, though as a comedy I was hoping for more over the top stuff. Some gore gags are splattering the sauce and some are disappointingly happening off camera. Perhaps there was a limited budget to show too much of the red stuff. The cast is all very charismatic and the films moves a long faster then the zombies pace. Sadly there is not much else to say cause it has all been done before. Watch it for a laugh, but you won’t be telling your friends about it afterwards. You’ll say, ha that was funny. Wonder whats on TCM right now?

And there you have it folks, we are about halfway through this month’s festivities. I hope you have been enjoying the articles as much as I have been watching and writing them. Outside of The Howling, which was my first viewing on Blu-Ray, I have never seen any of these films before so I am discovering them right along with some of you. And really that is the most important thing, to discover the horror. Old or new, good or bad, there is nothing better then a new experience. The last half of the month we will take a look at some new releases in the theater as well as on VOD, some more cult classics, some more newer films I haven’t gotten around to watching yet and whatever the hell else I come across in the dreaded DVD vaults.

See you all tomorrow for some more cinematic madness, we still have 16 more days left in the best month of the year!


Damien Glonek Damien is one of the Co-Creators of Living Dead Dolls (The world's longest continuing running horror themed dolls series) as well as the Director of Development at Mezco Toyz. He is also a contributing writer and artist for EvilSpeak magazine as well as previously having contributed to Ultraviolent Magazine. He has been actively vending at horror conventions around the country for the last 20 years beginning with his (now-closed) horror memorabilia company Unearthly Possessions. When not doing all of the above he submerges himself in all aspects of the horror genre and is a big collector of original horror movie posters mostly from the 60s-80s.