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Cooties Review: Distasteful and Disgusting In All The Right Ways

Cooties Review: Distasteful and Disgusting In All The Right Ways


Before we talk any spoilers (you’re safe here) let’s cut to the point. If you like horror comedies, and you like gore, this is probably a movie you will like. I like both of those things, and this is a movie I liked quite a bit.

It’s not perfect by any means, the ending is really disappointing for example, but it’s not like we’re talking about an adaptation of a beloved novel here, it’s a zombie splatter film with tons of corny jokes and a few brilliant moments here and there. Definitely worth the time investment, but not the funniest horror comedy I’ve seen all year. That award goes to Bloodsucking Bastards. Although I will say I enjoyed Cooties more than What We Do In The Shadows (Doug penned that review, I didn’t fully agree. The film felt like it would be a much better TV show due to the broken up story lines). Still it’s a great year for the horror comedy!

If you’re still on the fence let me just say, the cast should clear things up for you. Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Jack McBrayer, Jorge Garcia and a whole bunch of very talented new comers. Check out the IMDB page for more details, and definitely see this movie.




Let’s talk about what really works well in this movie. First of all, Elijah Wood. No seriously, if you’ve seen it you’re probably nodding your head with me. He plays the part of a failed, embarrassed writer really well and he doesn’t bother trying to make the character lovable, he’s sort of a dick. He’s definitely a liar, even if it’s because of his embarrassment. I appreciate this change of pace. They do make him come to a realization at some point, and he does still get the girl sort of, but somehow it doesn’t feel like your typical cliche plot. They purposefully downplay it’s importance, almost as if the movie is self aware of how silly it would be to turn itself into a love story when there’s children eating people everywhere. More importantly than how he plays his character is how he seems to know exactly how to setup everyone else in the film. He let’s people be funny by not overshadowing them and he also tones down his own comedy by being sheepish at points which seems to really work for his character.

Rainn Wilson is absolute gold in this one. He plays the high school football star who turns into a gym coach, failing on his dream as well of becoming a football star. Yes the movie hits all the high school cliches, but trust me it does it really well. All I want to add to this is “Rear Dual Wheels!” If you’ve seen the movie, you’re probably laughing and mouthing it too. We can’t stop doing it at home.

The best part for me is the storyline. They setup the film by already establishing just how truly terrifying kids are both to each other and to adults. Honestly kids scare the shit out of me sometimes, you just never know what they’re going to do and some of them are evil despite everyone believing they’re perfect little angels. You know the kids I’m talking about. This movie takes those kids and through a little bit of silly science turns them, and them only, into super fast flesh eating monsters. Brilliant!



And let’s not forget how good the gore is in this one. It’s HYPER violent and packed to the brim with kids destroying bodies in a crazed feeding frenzy. These kids are hungry for blood and flesh and they do not hold back. That’s not to say there’s anything scary about this movie beyond the idea of kids turning into zombies, there really isn’t. The jump scares are weak so if you want that, go somewhere else. This movie is a straight up gory comedy.

All good so far right? Well there’s that ending where it feels like the writing staff just went home and forgot to finish the movie… yeah I didn’t like that either. I hate when a movie sets itself up for a sequel. Don’t get so far ahead of yourself guys, finish this movie first. Maybe that’s not the reason this movie ends so abruptly, maybe there’s a deeper meaning, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. I just wanted a real ending.

Overall I’d give this movie a 7/10 and say you should watch it. It will make you cringe and laugh out loud, and probably wonder what the hell is wrong with you?

Tim Makoid 1/2 of the Tech/UX team duo, General Tim. As a kid Tim struggled with attention issues and always had that “doesn’t pay attention in class” bullshit on his report cards, despite good grades. It’s mostly because he was too busy reading comic books, trade mags, or playing game boy under his desk. He’s never been too good at sticking with one thing either. Despite his certain obsessions, he’s always been interested in all realms of geekhood: video games, comic books, comedy, movies, books, computers, user experience, development and music across all genres and types. “I’ve dabbled in everything. Hence why EchoBa.se is such a great home for me. I don’t often frequent just one corner of the internet because I’m always looking for different points of view, and this place has that!”
  • Toby Wan-Kenobi

    Tim, couldn’t agree with you more. I finally had a chance to watch it last night and didn’t really know what I was in for. By the end of the movie, I was left standing there saying, “what the hell did I just watch?”. It was funny and a total gory mess. The end was a little flat, but at the end of the day, the hokey jokes and and the cast total make this movie a must see.

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